Time

Thank goodness for alter egos. For most, you probably know that 'Caela' is not my real name, and most of those don't seem to care. :) I like it that way. Gives me more allowance on the internet. I'm able to say anything I want without getting tagged by my work. For instance, I'm planning on selling the house, in Springfield, MO, and moving to good old Scotland for a few months to a year. I know, sounds drastic, but then again, this is me we're talking about. Nothing will seem drastic once I'm done planning it all out. The biggest things holding me back are my father: who will have plenty to say nay about this idea. However, I've decided to simply tell him that I'm 27 years old and he needs to start supporting me rather than anticiapting my failure in my decisions. Of course, I probably will stress about it for a long time before I tell him. But I want to be damned sure before I express the idea to him, less drama that way.

Then there is my puppy. I've become attached to her, so leaving her with my friend in California will be for the best. I hope to get settled and have a job before I can send for her. Though, if I'm only going to be there for a short time, I shouldn't bother and just keep her state side.

And the other is even scarier than the others. Again, I anticipate being viewed as crazy when I say this. I'm worried about leaving the states when I still haven't gotten closure from Alanson. I know. Stupid right? The guy is long gone and moved on. I don't really mind the idea of him with someone else, as long as he's happy, that's not my concern. I just want to keep myself near-ish, in case he decides he wants me, as a friend, again. Being in Missouri and not in California doesn't really matter in my mind for this, because I didn't ever plan to stay in Missouri. Picking up and leaving was alway my plan. Where I would move to, was a whole different problem.

I know there isn't anyone reading this right now, no followers, makes it easier to type all this out. I have a story brewing in the back of my mind, waiting for me to write it out, but it's not quite ready. So, here I am exercising my typing brain power. Yeah...babble. Who knew? Pfft.

So lies my other problem. I've been feeling out for him once again. Over the last 4 years I've received a email every now and then from him. Completly out of the blue. However, whenever I respond, he doesn't. That one email every year or so is all I get. It's been a year and a half now, since I last heard from him. Though I have to admit, in the past, he has responded to my emails but months later, and they are always the same. Still caring, missing, but no time to send more, promising to get back to me soon. It doesn't happen. I wonder if someone is near him, taking care of him. Then I recall his best friend Sam. If anyone can keep his ass straight, it's her. There's comfort in that.

Well, enough meloncholy I guess. Time to get some research done on Scotland.